#Euro2012 Digest Episode 15: Super Mario

You can keep all your tiki-taka nonsense, Italy is the star of the tournament. And at a time when the entire world is getting behind the all new attacking Azzurri and hoping they can beat a Spanish set up which is seen (a bit unjustly) as rather arrogant, the Italian sports press is outdoing itself to portray its country as the bright future we all hope for. And when I say "we" I mean white people.

Listen, I didn't start out planning to grind on about racism and the patently absurd stance of various bodies or media associated with this competition but you just can't ignore this stuff.

Stay classy Gazzetta!

La Gazzetta went first portraying Italy striker, Mario Balotelli, as King Kong atop Big Ben, fending off footballs and just when you though the depths could no longer be plumbed, Tuttosport took out an industrial sized plumbing device and plumbed them some more.

Stay classy Tuttosport!

They led with a picture of Balotelli and a headline punning on the fact that he is black and that Italy badly bruised the Germans (made them black). Now whilst it is true that a pun should be considered as a mitigating factor in ALL "crimes" you have to ask yourself, who signs this shit off???

The Assistant Editor commented that "no one in Italy will have seen this as racist". So this must mean one of two things; a) Italy is the international racist barometer or b) he really meant to say "no white person in Italy will have seen this as racist".

Aaaaaaargh!! Anyway Italy has a black hero right now and I guess this can only help increase awareness and understanding.

Prediction.
Ever since Alessandro Diamanti beat Hart to send Italy through, I have thrown my whole dual-national weight behind the Azzurri and they paid me back with an epic performance against Germany. I have some recollection of 1982 but, apart from that, I don't think I have watched an Italian team play without reducing my fingernails by 50% in 90 minutes. It was an absolute pleasure and I have to believe that they will lift the trophy now. I have to.

I can't see Del Bosque doing a whole load of re-shuffling and Italy will win in 90 minutes - I don't care how.

#Euro2012 Digest Episode 14: A Major Sticking Point

Long before the pretentious gastro-pubs of England started using the word to mean the singular and plural of sandwich Panini was only synonymous with one thing: The Sticker Album. I remember Mexico 86 as much for the Panini Sticker album as for the Hand of God and the sad demise of a decent England team. Like England, I also fell short of completing the task but probably due to a lack of funds and a lack of friends, with whom to swap. But I am not looking of pity - if I were I would also have mentioned I was forced to wear the cheapest white Simod trainers by my mother, again for economic reasons.

The point is the smell of Panini stickers will stay with me for ever, opening the packet and peeling them off was such an exciting and sensual experience that I have an extraordinary olfactory memory imprinted on my mind. These days of course I am all growed up and stuff not to mention extremely serious so I don't take part in any such a childish pursuit, however some of my friends do and this week I was given a glimpse into the world of Panini stickers in 2012. "Its a weird sub culture" one friend commented, explaining to me that this was "absolutely, definitely the last year" he would buy an album. Like any collecting these stickers inspires a camaraderie, banter, generosity and a competitiveness that means it can only be described as an addiction of sorts.

A 40 year old guy attempted to steal 5 stickers.
At a flea market in Austria, my friend continues, one lad "who was maybe mentally not all there" gave him 25 free stickers simply because he liked the shiny Ireland sticker and my mate is Irish! Another hairy biker gave away 250 stickers to a kid in a wheelchair. On the flip side a 40 year old guy attempted to steal 5 stickers for his son but was promptly stopped by the group of swappers who closed rank and told him to f*ck off, sharpish. Whether they were really for his son, is dubious.

As the odd reader of this blog will know I live in Belgrade and here there is a strange phenomenon whereby Panini sticker aficionados congregate throughout the day outside the Moskva Hotel and, tightly bunched cards in hand, they shuffle around looking for swapsies.

The quest for the complete album has, to a degree, moved with the times as there are many more or less localized exchange groups on Facebook; Malta and Serbia to name but two.

It doesn't surprise me that there is a mania for collecting older editions and that people should continue to strive to complete old albums - there is a search facility on the Panini site - but it kind of amazes me in this digital age that something that feels so "old-fashioned" continues to be successful. To what extent kids take it up I don't know but people who remember the earlier albums are still very attached and there seem to be plenty of sticker albums going strong.

"You could do terrible things to Thierry Henry"
Plus of course, being an Irish fan, as my collector friend pointed out, when speaking of a previous album, "you could do terrible things to Thierry Henry" and actually seek out more duplicates of said French forward "to do more horrific stuff like, say, a stop animation snuff movie". Just saying. If you wanted you could do that kind of thing...

#Euro2012 Digest Episode 13: Dream Semi-Finals?

The history, the rivalry, the differing people, the conflict, the footballing passion of two great Empirical nations set against each other, Germany will face their old rivals... Italy.

Carroll still expects a long ball from Hart, whilst Lescott is delighted he can go on holiday!

Whilst many English sit back and probably imagine that their is no greater game than the righteous men of Albion versus the massed and organized ranks of Germans and that both nations revel in this huge (anachronistic) rivalry the bitter truth is that for the Germans this simply isn't so true. As was amply demonstrated last night England is not a great footballing side and although there is no shame in that there ought to be be a period of reflection.

I thought it was very telling to hear German journalist Raphael Honigstein, prior to the match,  declaring that his countrymen would much rather see a matchup against the Italians because their's is a much more significant rivalry. Both teams have have an outstanding international record, winning 4 World Cups each, Italy are notorious for finding a way to beat their Northern rivals and the Germans are probably confused and amazed by the discipline the Southerners have traditionally shown in defence.

They think its all over... because it is.
There it is folks. When Germany doesn't care about playing England, we really should take a long hard look at what we are doing wrong. Forget all the passion and spirit bullshit and start trying to play football. We did that for 25 minutes last night - we took the game to Italy an deployed a direct, Premiership style of football which had them rattled. For the next 95 minutes we showed great passion and spirit in defence. Screw passion and spirit, screw misplaced national pride, screw it all. I am half Italian and you know why I like watching Italy? Because they find a way to win stuff!

Its time for England to wake up, stop living in the past, wallowing in some self-constructed valiant martyrdom and concentrate on developing a team that can win games, not because it has three lions on a shirt, but because it is more "able", whatever that may mean. We have enough footballers, enough great teams to grow a generation who can beat the world.

Predictions.
Italy 1 - 3 Germany
Germany will surely do what England should have done and continue a fast and direct approach that will break down Italy.

Spain 2 - 1 Portugal
I just don't see how this can be anything other than Spain, but it could be close.

Wimbledon Preview: Managing Expectations

The eyes of the tennis world, and those of middle class British women with no interest in sport, turn to Wimbledon on Monday as the championships start a fortnight of tennis mania in England before the sport again fades to an almost unknown.

Its a strange phenomenon really but it seems that for two weeks in the year the Brits become fixated with a sport that normally they totally ignore and are generally pretty ignorant about. What it all adds up to is an unreal expectation on any British player taking part and an obsessional devotion to anyone (figuratively speaking) wearing the national colours.

Its true to say that there has been little joy for Brits in tennis since before the war but there have been some notable exceptions. Recently Tim Henman, Greg Rusedski (to a lesser extent) and now Andy Murray have captured the nation's imagination and have been inflated into demigods... at least for a fortnight.

Andy Murray gets harsh but funny treatment!

Could This be Tim's Year?

Tim Henman was a very good tennis player, recording 11 ATP Tour titles and world ranking high of number 4. He was at times a sublime grass court player and you would have to say, with career earnings in excess of 11 million USD, pretty successful. But he never made the final of Wimbledon and the pressure on him in his home country was so huge that it may have hampered him. You might say that had he been truly great he would have overcome this and gone all the way and you would probably be right but at the same time expectation was probably far greater than reality. This is a strangely British sporting affliction.

The latest man to suffer this is Andy Murray. Murray is a better player than Henman. He is very successful with 22 ATP titles, a highest ranking of 2 and earnings of over 20 million USD. But he is still a failure in the eyes of most of his countrymen and women.

Alright so he isn't charismatic... but a bottler?

Tennis is not a big sport in Britain, you might argue we play too many sports to be successful in all - certainly a smaller country would probably be relatively happy to laud the contribution of such players as Henman, Rusedski and Murray.

But the point is that these guys are harshly treated. We shouldn't pretend that they are the greatest thing since sliced bread and then tear them down when they don't win the highest accolades. We should be realistic and praise them for what they are. I think Murray is unusually unlucky to play tennis at a time when there are three of the finest ever wielders of a racquet, in Federer, Nadal and the super-human Djokovic.

Prediction.

Murray should do ok at Wimbledon but even under new coach Lendl, I can't see anyone beyond the big three (probably Djokovic) winning this year. Nadal (9/4) is fractionally stronger on clay, Federer is having a bit of a renaissance and good value at 5/1 but Nole, as his Serbian devotees call him, is simply irresistible.

Certainly the bookies can't see much further than Djokovic (7/4) in the men's draw and Sharapova (5/2) in the women's. British women will definitely not figure but fear not Britain, you will get what you secretly want;  another nearly man, a heroic failure in your myopic eyes, someone to wildly celebrate for a two weeks and then complain about for fifty. Incidentally I hope I am wrong, I would love Andy to win Wimbledon or any other slam for that matter.

#Euro2012 Digest Episode 12: Quarter Final Predictions

Thursday: Czech Please?
It was a surprise when Czech booked its place in the quarterfinals and it will be an even bigger surprise if Portugal doesn't get by them on Thursday. Portugal 3 - 1 Czech

Friday: On your Marx
Its Germany against Greece. Enough of your Merkel, Euro, Debt-ridden, Credit-seeking jokes, this is a game rich in made-up history. Germany lines up against the Greeks tomorrow in a match that has happened before and in its most famous incarnation was won by the Greeks.

The big question is whether the Germans have learnt from this previous thwacking. I predict an endless stream of economic crisis references and jokes from all UK broadcasters, followed by a comfortable German win. Germany 2 - 0 Greece

Saturday: Gallic Shrug.
If France could be bothered I think they could beat Spain, but I don't think they can be bothered.
France 0 - 1 Spain

Sunday: Penalties!
I think it may be on penalties but England will find a way to scrape through thanks to a combination of Hodgson, Balotelli and Joe Hart. Hodgson knows Italians, England players know Balotelli is nut job and how to rile him and Hart will be the shootout hero. England 1 - 1 Italy (Eng on Penalties).

#Euro2012 Digest Episode 11: The Fifth Man

Just a day after Italy manager, Cesare Prandelli was thanking UEFA Nob-in-Chief Michel Platini for introducing the fifth referee and thereby ensuring that Cassano's goal was rightly awarded against Ireland, one can safely assume that Ukraine boss and professional tool Oleg Blokhin was not in a congratulatory mood. His side was denied a goal, when John Terry hooked the ball clear after it had crossed the line.

Stay classy Oleg

"There are five referees on the pitch and the ball is 50cm behind the goal-line. Why do we need five officials?" he said, with his trademark clarity, before challenging a journalist to naked wrestle.

Incidentally the fifth official in question was unable to see properly because there was a large white post in his way. Mmm, no shit! Get some technology please.

So England went through with a cheeky 1- 0. With goal-line technology the score line might well have been different but, as with Lampard's ghost goal against Germany in 2010, it didn't make a big difference as the French contrived to lose to Ibrahimovic. So England avoid Spain and in the twords of Rio Ferdinand "We will do the Italians. #fact!". There you have it, the oracle has spoken.


Gayle Force
I have to drop a bit of cricket in here again because England march on relentlessly in one day cricket (never though I would say that) and despite losing Kevin Pietersen who has chosen to spend more time with his cash, the openers continued a sparkling spell of form; 6 century from England openers, 6 ODI wins... could the two be related? I think we should be told.

Good to see Gayle back in the game and hitting big - check out the six onto the roof. Be careful because once you start youtubing Chris Gayle, there is no stopping.

Predictions tomorrow.

#Euro2012 Digest Episode 10: UEFA Sends A Message

So far this Euro tournament has been really good. No goal-less draws, plenty of action, a few upsets, exciting ties. So why has UEFA got it's nickers in a twist?

He should have been hanged.
Nicklas Bendtner has been fined €100k (Yes, One Hundred Thousand Euros) and also been banned for one game after lifting his shirt to reveal his "lucky pants" during a goal celebration. If there is one thing UEFA doesn't like it's someone having a pair of pants which aren't the official UEFA ADIDAS MCDONALDS COCA COLA BRIBE PANT. Never mind violence or racism or match fixing, this guy was wearing a pair of f**king pants that were NOT sanctioned by UEFA! The absolute minimum that should happen is that he should be hanged. Twice.

No doubt the sponsor of said pantage is delighted with all the publicity and may even help out Mr Bendtner with this financial predicament. The Danish FA probably is less delighted, especially seeing as they have a sponsorship deal with Ladbrokes. The game he will miss is in the 2014 World Cup qualifying campaign and I think everyone has learnt a lesson from this and no company will ever attempt any kind of ambush marketing ever again, ever.

Nob-in-chief Platini prays for more cash for banquets.

...make sure its not a lucky banana...
I know that the they love free lunches but it is still astounding that the game's masters and decision makers consider this to be so serious as to impose a higher fine than for almost any other real crime. Click here for a good piece in the Telegraph which compares this to such divisive and genuinely harmful cancers in the sport such as racism and sectarianism. UEFA probably thinks it has sent out a strong message to  potential rule breakers, which it kind of has, but the message is; "If you are going to throw a banana at black players, make sure its not a lucky banana otherwise you're really going to be in trouble".

Anyway, this blog is starting to feel like nothing more than an Anti-Uefa rant so lets hope this is the last of it.

Rooney, Rooney, Rooney, lala lala lala
In-ger-land, In-ger-land, In-ger-land, In-ger-land... you get the picture. Rooney to score, England to win. France to stuff the Swedes. No surprises on the field yesterday and no surprises today.

#Euro2012 Digest Episode 9: UEFA Gets Medieval & Nalbandian

Del Bosque and Sergio Ramos discuss fixing the Croatia game... more below

First up Disciplinary News...
...and UEFA has taken time out of ignoring real issues to open disciplinary proceedings against the English FA following the reprehensible behavior of English fans. Apparently at no stage during the win against Sweden did any of them make any racially derogatory remarks or chants. "England risks being the black sheep (can I say that?) of Europe unless the fans change their attitudes" a UEFA official didn't say. Apparently some jubilant England fans also tried to get onto the pitch after Welbeck's winner to brutalize the grass with their angry feet.

Portugal and Germany have been fined after their supporters threw paper onto the field. Presumably it wasn't paper money or all the bloated UEFA suits would have been out there hoovering it up like there's no tomorrow.

These teams join the ranks of Russia (fireworks, illegal banners, racism, violence) and Croatia (pretty much the same), as being sanctioned by the selectively seeing eye that is European Football's governing body.

...meanwhile on a Tennis court.
Talking of taking affirmative action to root out the worst elements of the world, David Nalbandian was disqualified from the Queen's Final yesterday for kicking an advertising hoarding which then smashed into the leg of a line judge. Readers of this blog will know that I have issues with Mr Nalbandian. Well, I now feel entirely justified and sorry for the innocent victim of this advertising hate crime.

Predictions

How ironic would it be if Italy were to get dumped out of the competition because of match fixing? 

All it would take is for the Spanish and Croatians to agree that a 2-2 draw suited them both and Italy would be on their way home. Just saying. I really don't think it will happen though. Spain wan tho send out a signal to the likes of Germany and I expect Italy to make Ireland the real whipping boys of the tournament and go through and join Del Bosque and his men.

On a bit of a bad run at the moment, given Portugal - Netherlands somehow didn't get over 3.5 goals so might have a couple of quid on a draw in the Spain game as well, cos life can be like that.

#Euro2012 Digest Episode 8: Captain Karagounis

Please Gods let UEFA rescind my card

The European Championships generally provides more competitive sport than the World Cup - fewer teams, fewer games, better football, simple really. Here at the EGC Blog HQ, we have gone on the record before discussing the virtues of sport remaining as elitist as possible, the best of the best and so on and so forth.

Well, yesterday the two worst teams in Group A and two of the worst teams in the competition progressed, completely out of the blue and facing considerable adversity (no news as to whether Funtik, the psychic pig was able to see this coming), thus further lighting up an already brightly lit tournament. 

Greece rises as Poles slide

The second half of the Greece Russia game in particular was a great spectacle - if only for the Phyrric struggles of captain Karagounis. Russia actually came closer than they should to getting a draw, as Greece should have had a penalty when Karagounis was brought down in the area, instead the talismanic Karagounis was yellow-carded and will miss the quarter final, sparking scenes of extraordinary despair.  We all owe a debt to Greece, even Angela Merkel who now looks likely to have her dream quarter final; Greece - Germany! I look forward to her and the Greek PM in the stands, swapping pleasantries and bags of cash.

In the other tie the host nation, Poland, went out to an enigmatic Czech team which bounced back from a 4-1 spanking by Russia in the first round to finish top of the group. Game of two halves, innit!?

Prediction.
I can't see how Denmark can qualify although it would be nice to see in what was dubbed this year's 
Group of Death so I will limit prediction to over 3.5 goals in the Portgual - Netherlands game. The Dutch need to win by a hatful to stand any chance of a quarter final birth so... on with VDV and Huntelaar, open game, Portuguese counter attacks and... Twat... that was liquid football!

#Euro2012 Digest Episode 7: The Tale of Honest Roy

Roy is a Legend. England will get through the group phase. To my great relief I was wrong about the result yesterday and England staged a stirring comeback and I am reversing my prediction that they would not progress.

Roy is not a legend because he has made England into a great team that can go far at present. Roy is a legend because he has done what he can in a short time and has been honest.

"I'd be lying if I said I knew the players as well as you" he told journalists.

England conceded two goals to defensive cock-ups as any team of old would have done but they also staged a really positive comeback that requires heart and determination and the kind that many would have you say is only possible with managers like 'Arry. Perhaps finally, under Hodgson, we will put to rest the nonsense about team spirit and pride in your country being the key to success.

No matter how much I dislike Carroll, he was the man for the job. And when England started to fade and looked like losing the game Roy's changes made the difference. 

I know I sound like a Hitler Youth Leader circa 1939, but England remains a deeply unathletic team and this has to be a major weakness. Carroll must step aside for Rooney surely and Walcott's speed and agility must be better than the trail of slime left by Milner as he moves slowly, lugging that great shell. This way we should get the result we need agains Ukraine.

Racism News Now...
The cynics who said this tournament would be plagued by racist abuse in the stands have been proved completely wrong. It is not a plague, simply a minor epidemic.

UEFA calls in the usual suspects.

A banana was thrown onto the pitch in the Italy Croatia game and the usual monkey chants were apparently audible. UEFA is also ignoring investigating the Spain - Italy game and Czech - Russia. I guess Balotelli was the intended victim of this act but he can't have noticed it as he had earlier announced he would walk off the pitch if subjected to such abuse.... or if substituted, injured or indeed at the end of the game, presumably. Luckily the UEFA Anti-Racist handbook says (on page 1 of 1); "If the intended victim of racism cannot hear or is not aware of the abuse, then it does not qualify as racism, but simply, high jinks". Investigation closed!

Predictions
I fancy the Poles to show a bit of spunk an turn over the Czechs 2 - 1. Should be a cracking game too. Greece will exit the Euro(s)... see what I did there?

#Euro2012 Digest Episode 6: Its All Gone a Bit Queer (Can I say that?)

Following the outrage at Antonio Cassano's comments relating to two gay footballers within the Italian squad its worth remembering that he is an uneducated son of a... I mean, come on, it's not as if an Italian Prime Minister has come out and said ludicrous and insulting comments about "the gay"... oh, now, wait a minute.

Manager Cesare Prandelli wasn't keen to comment but I believe he has gone on the record in the past in criticizing such retrograde opinions as being akin to racism, which should lead UEFA officials scurrying to the broom cupboard for the largest available utensil to sweep another issue under their massive emergency carpet.

Age Before Beauty
England definitely has the advantage in Group D. Alphabetically speaking. In footballing terms its a little different as midfield pensioners Gerrard and Parker may struggle to play against Sweden due to being quite tired, according to Roy Hodgson.

Barnet will have to wait for promotion
The news gets worse... in competitive football Sweden has never lost a match to England, the last two World Cup encounters finishing in scoring draws. England are marginal favorites but they are still without Rooney who has one game left in his self-imposed little hair-liday before he can resume his place in the team and it didn't look as if anyone else was too worried about shooting at that netty thing between the white poles (don't worry thats not racism, Uefa).

I said I wanna look like Buffon!

Prediction.
True to form England will draw, then draw against Ukraine and go home. There I said it, we won't win the tournament. It doesn't mean I want it to happen!

So anyway... seriously, do you think, like, one of them is like, Balotelli or something?

#Euro2012 Digest Episode 5: Irish Fans

It might sound patronizing (it does) but the travelling Ireland football fans have as usual shown a unique brand of humour which, despite, or perhaps because of, a very average performance have highlighted the genuine spirit of this international sporting festival.

Here are our favourite irreverent Irish flags from Euro2012... so far!

Might be a short one though!

...unlike some things.

Showing Greece how its done...

...and utter respect for her Maj.

Oooh Matron!

It is an almost impossible task for the Irish tonight against Spain so we probably shouldn't get carried away in all this tricolour euphoria... what would Father Ted do?

Keep it real.

Prediction.

It won't be easy but with enough guts, determination and pride Ireland can give the Spanish a good licking, repeating their form against Croatia... in the stands. On the field no chance, Spain to win but it may not be high scoring though because Ireland will surely defend better and Spain will try and walk everything into the net.

Italy - Croatia

Italy realize that a draw here and a win against Ireland will most likely be enough and have a couple quid on a 1 - 1 correct score. You get your money back one way or another!

#Euro2012 Digest Episode 4: Orangensaft

Netherlands - Germany. "It doesn't get much bigger than this" as Winston Churchill almost certainly never said. If ever a game deserved more than a tired footballing cliche its this one. This is a massive game.

Total Football
If Germany was a little disappointing in the first game then the Netherlands were a steaming heap of manure with RVP as feckless as an unqualified, unemployed teenager who can't find a feck for love nor money. 1974 still rides high in the memory of the Dutch - what should have been their finest hour instead saw Rinus Michels' total football snuffed out by the teutonic forces as Germany lifted the World cup - but they were in the last World Cup final and this tie is more about survival than any old revenge. They need to win but surely this young German side will pick up their game from last week. Both teams shone in qualifying, but Germany lead the Dutch in previous meetings by 14 wins to 10.

Expect passes, tackles, balls being kicked (mostly by De Jong and Van Bommel) and goals. I really hope Germany start with Klose and I am betting on over 2.5 goals and a German victory.

Denmark - Portugal
In the earlier Group B match Denmark will try to repeat their qualifying performance and beat Portugal? It would be nice but Portugal will be more positive and record their first Euro2012 win by 2 - 1. Helder Postiga... I mean seriously, why? I'll tell you why, because Christiano Ronaldo is too precious to play as a striker.

Look, look, I'm in the mirror.

#Euro2012 digest Episode 3: That'll do

"Hey Rooney, Rooney, who is England Myanager? He is Shyiit!"

A group of burly Russians who were sitting behind me for the duration of the England vs France game asked this question and answered it, whilst repeatedly tapping me on the shoulder. I was wearing a Rooney shirt and they obviously didn't take kindly to my previous comments about Mother Russia and Dictator Putin. Ok, realistically that last bit isn't true but anyway they kept informing me that France were the better team and Hodgson was "shyiit".

Harsh, I think. It wasn't very exciting but England looked way more disciplined and at times passed the ball much better than previous teams and as a fan I was pretty satisfied with a performance against a much classier French team... with the exception of Milner who is so immobile he is obviously carrying some kind of niggle... the same niggle he has carried his entire career!!!

James Milner latches onto a through ball and ... oh.

Predictions:
Poland v Russia ... mmm a bit of "previous" in this one! The communal history of these two nations is full of conflict, death, reconcilliation and the kind of conspiracy theories that are part of the cultural currency of formerly (in the case of Poland) oppressive or dictatorial regimes. So, whatever happens tonight it will be a case of unfair home advantage or bribed officials. So I think poland will get as fired up for this game as they did in the opener and we shall see a diplomatic but tasty scoring draw although there could be some afters off the pitch!

#Euro2012 Digest Episode 2: Boys against Men

Following on from Denmark's trampling over the velvety tulip field of Dutch football on Saturday, Sunday was surely ripe for more upsets and for a while it looked as if Italy would turn over the World and European champions Spain.

But I guess that was too much to hope for. The highlight of the game was not Di Natale's goal or the slick move that led to the Fabregas equalizer, it was instead a moment of shear schoolboy silliness from the legend that is Cassano. Spanish goal keeper Iker Casillas came to clear a back pass and Cassano, who had failed to intercept, chased him and casually stuck a foot out sending the spaniard sprawling. It wasn't malicious, it wasn't violent and it wasn't a foul, it was simply what every teenage boy would at the very least think of doing to his mates. And that is why we love The Jewel of Old Bari. (If you missed it, here it is - skip to 6.40).

Cassano: "I'm too sexy for (AC) Milan...".

Sadly there really was a disparity in Poznan as the men of Croatia outplayed the boys in green. Here's hoping the Irish can turn it on against the bigger teams!

I don't like Cricket...
And continuing the struggle between youth and age the Third Test at Edgbaston, despite being irrelevant to the outcome of the series, produced some outstandingly engaging cricket yesterday. Danesh Ramdin and Tino Best shared in a record stand of 143 for the last West Indian wicket. Ramdin completed a hundred but Best sadly fell just 5 short of being the first number 11 in test history to reach three figures.

Ramdin has come under fire for his performances which have recently been rubbish and yesterday he struck back and let his bat do the talking. Unfortunately he didn't leave it there, he also let his pen do some more talking. On reaching a hundred he went a bit Balotelli and produced a piece of paper from his pocket with upon it scribbled "Yeah Viv Talk Nah". Now, there is nothing wrong with sticking two fingers up to the media and pundits who cast judgement from the comfort of their armchairs but if you are gonna call someone out like that maybe make sure its not one of the greatest test batsmen in the history of the game or don't follow it up with "he's a legend of the Caribbean and I still look up to him".

Despite all this kerfuffle Tino "literally the" Best managed to steal the limelight from his batting partner due to a scintillating knock and in my opinion missed an opportunity to pull out a piece of paper with the words "Yeah Freddie Talk Nah". Don't remember why? Watch this.



Prediction Time
Back to the Euros and my predictions so far have all been wildly wrong and I have lost all my bets so I am going to put my two pounds on over 2.5 goals in the England - France game @ 2.70. I fear they may all be French goals.

#Euro2012 Digest Episode 1: Red Russian Racism

Red.Well, I said it would be a draw. Ahem. Fans of boredom tuned in their squillions to watch Poland  play Greece and were upset to see a proper scrap end in a one all draw, including two red cards (one less than the whole of the last competition) and a penalty save by equally silly-named substitute Polish keeper Przemysław Tyton.

Russian.Vladimir Putin couldn't have wished for a better result as Czech Republic lined up against Mother Russia. He could, however, have a) organized it and b) starred in it if he really wanted to (he has form). Infact this morning's Russian papers probably carry images of a bare-chested Putin waving his shirt around whilst celebrating his fourth goal. 

Racism.With the Ferdinand-Terry-Ferdinand story set to be dug up at every press conference for the foreseeable future of mankind it seemed that racism (or alleged racism) had become simply boring. But don't worry, racism can be fun again and two game days into the Euros we already have a couple of racial abuse and hatred tales to play with. Woohoo, everyone is happy.

Uefa has begun disciplinary proceedings against the Union of Soviet Soccer Republics for "improper conduct of supporters" during last night's tie against Czech following racist chanting aimed at Theodor Gebre Selassie. Quel surprise!! Vladimir Putin has moved to distance himself from this negative story claiming he has never liked football and that anyway he has a black belt in Judo, which is kinda like having a black friend, so therefore he is not racist for one!

Earlier Uefa had confirmed that there had also been "isolated racist chants" aimed at the Dutch national side in a training camp, but that isolated racist twats are nowhere near as bad as when they are in groups so its probably best to brush it all under that huge emergency carpet we keep for all these matters. Bastion of integrity Mark van Bommel did however speak up; "It is a real disgrace, especially after getting back from Auschwitz, that you are confronted with this". I honestly didn't think he was that old!


Prediction Time.
Spain will beat Italy by 2 goals to nil and Robbie Keane will score in a 1 all draw with Croatia - Don't forget there is a money back special on Ireland to beat Croatia here.

Footballing Reasons

Which is the odd one out? Gary Cahill, Frank Lampard, Gareth Barry, John Ruddy and the present UK Government?

That's right, only one of them is glad it has nothing to do with something called the Euro.

Interestingly, what they all have in common is that they will take no part in group games. The UK government has chosen not to send any ministers to the early stages of the tournament, complaining of a poor human rights record in Ukraine. John Terry was not available for comment, but one can't help feeling this political problem could have been avoided by leaving JT at home.

A gratuitous picture of John Terry crying.

Meanwhile JT's fictional arch-nemesis Rio Ferdinand wil stay at home' for "footballing reasons" and England head coach Roy of the Rovers confirmed that a 27 week old foetus is waiting to come in should any further defenders twist a ligament joint copping a feel of someone else's WAG. "Rio has bought a new sofa to watch the games from, so it wouldn't be fair to call him up now" Hodgson didn't say.

An annoyingly small picture of some wag that you just can't enlarge

So the success of the team will revolve around an old man from Spurs, as will that of the BBC coverage. Our darling broadcaster has signed 'Arry to comment on England and Roy's flailing and failing.

And, as I understand it, the BBC can also be added to the list of those not present in the group stages. Apparently cutbacks mean they will not actually be there until the latter stages of the tournament.

Now, as promised its time for some big match previews. First up is Poland - Greece. Only kidding, I don't give a shit about it, but I will be watching the game, I will be consuming a light ale to accompany it and I will be screaming Yesss, yessss, yess, yes, yes, yes yeeeeeees. That was a goal! although probably not in this first game which is a nil niller IMO.

 

V365 Poker Festival Interview - Aladin Mrkaljevic

Having recently come first in the Vegas 365 Poker Festival 100k GTD held at the Portomaso Casino in Malta (10 - 13 May), young Danish player Aladin Mrkaljevic caught the poker critic's eye.  We caught up with Aladin to have a friendly chat.

Player Profile

• Name: Aladin Mrkaljevic. Yes it is my real name. My parents thought that I should have a special name so they named me Aladin. What can you do?
• Date of Birth: 11 June 1991
• Nationality: Bosnia & Herzegovina, but lived all my life in Denmark
• Favourite food: A good steak with sauce
• Favourite colour: Long time since I’ve been thinking about my favourite colour, but I will go with light blue.
• Likes and Dislikes?
  
  Likes: People who inspire, good weather, an intense workout at gym, a night out with friends, beaches, travelling and women, haha.
  
  Dislike: Hearing about people whining about small random things instead of looking at life from a bigger perspective.

Originally born in Bosnia, Aladin was raised in Denmark after his parents moved to avoid the war; currently living in Malta his main income is from Poker. The gutsy 20 year old is an exceptionally charming and charismatic character. With big ambitions, Aladin knows exactly where he wants to go in life. It’s this drive married with his cool collected exterior which we feel is the reason he is going to be an exciting player to watch.

So Aladin what do you like doing in your spare time?
Mostly I like to hang out with friends and go to the beach. I enjoy cooking and I think it’s important to be healthy, since moving to Malta I have been learning how to make different healthy dishes. I also like going to the gym, it gives me a feeling of satisfaction after a great work out and I feel more energetic afterwards. It has helped my poker game; I stay focused and make better decisions.

Do you have any ambitions?
I want to start a series of companies that I have in mind and really enjoy what I am doing so it doesn’t feel like work.

How would you describe your personality?
I would describe myself as a pretty calm and down earth character. I like to help my friends out if they need something and will always give advice if I can. My mum is a psychotherapist so I have learned a lot from her, for example to have a positive attitude towards life and general things in life that I’m trying to implement and pass on to others.

Is there a poker star who you particularly admire?
I admire Isildur (Viktor Blom) for being so aggressive and his story of how he made a name for himself, going from 2K dollars up to where he is now.

Do you enjoy playing online poker?
Yes. Because I don’t feel that I’m working when I play online, it also gives me the freedom to plan my day how I want it. I’m still trying to become better and not be affected when poker doesn’t go completely to plan, because what’s the point of living of it if you are miserable on the days poker goes bad. So I try to balance it and just focus on playing good and have a big enough bankroll for the stakes I play. Then the rest should take care of itself.

So what’s your daily routine?
Generally I wake up, make some breakfast, play online for about 1-2 hours and then go to the gym. I find the gym relaxes me and then I am ready to play again in the evening.

What do you prefer online or Live poker, and why?
I prefer online poker, but I also like to play live sometimes; just to break the pattern and go out and be around other poker players.

What do you like about the Vegas 365 Poker site?
I didn’t actually know about the Vegas365 before I registered for the Vegas 365 Poker Festival, but I think it’s cool that they have a skin on the Entraction network and also a 3D one.

Have you played any live tournaments before the Vegas365 Poker festival?
Yes I have played some smaller tournaments in Denmark and also the GSOP in Salzburg in February.

How did the Vegas 365 Poker Festival compare?
I think Vegas 365 had a really good structure, compared to other tournaments. I like that you have a lot of big blinds to play for and can be able to play poker, make some good calls and bluffs. The GSOP tournament had almost the same structure if I remember correctly. 60 min levels and 25 or 30K start stack.

What was the best moment of the tournament for you?
The best part of the tournament was of course when I realized that I had won my first big live tournament. That I was the number one! It’s a great feeling and I hope to do it again soon.

Were there any tense moments in the tournament?
I had some really rough pots that I lost, I am not sure but I think possibly the biggest pots of both days. For example QQ vs T8s all in preflop for 3 times average stack and I lost. We had been 3betting and 4betting each other a lot preflop. Also AA vs QQ against the same guy on day 2 for chipleader pot all in preflop. I lost again and was down to only 10 big blinds when we were 28 players left and money to top27.

Do you have any tricks or techniques for keeping calm during the tournament?
I tell myself that I played the hand correctly or the best way possible. But if I still lose then I tell myself not to think about it, because I will experience that a lot and it’s a waste of time to let it affect your game. I also find relaxing and upbeat music when it’s not going the way you want it to go can help you stay positive.

How did you feel when you made it through to the final round of the tournament?
I felt super thankful for getting on the final table, because I was really playing my best poker ever and managed to get back even though I got very unlucky in the biggest pots. I made some nice A high and K high calls for over half my stack and was really feeling that I deserved to come to the final table.

What went through your head as you won the tournament?
I actually I don’t remember! I just remember a feeling of that it all came together perfectly and it finally was over. It’s a funny feeling to “close” a tournament and be the last man standing.

How do your friends feel now you have won the tournament, are they refusing to play you at poker now?
Haha no. Most of my friends that live here in Malta are poker players so they would never refuse to play, because we have too big of a poker ego.

What was your total winning amount?
We made a deal when it came to the final 5 people left. I was 3rd out of 5 at that time and lost QQ vs 65 all in preflop. Flop 775 turn 5 river 3, so I wasn’t feeling too comfortable and decided to do the deal; if I had bust as 5th I would get €5,500. So I did the deal and got around €12,500 euro and then €7000 more for winning, so around €19,500 in total; the original 1st place was €27,000 and 2nd place €16,000 I think. I feel it was the smartest thing to do, but had I had a bigger bankroll I probably wouldn’t have done the deal.

What do you plan to do with the money you won?
I’m plan to use it for my poker bankroll as well as invest a little bit in a company that I have planned to start the last 4-5 months. It’s called www.Karmastamp.com and I will be making t- shirt and tanktops for guys. I have some cool prints and a good concept for the brand. It will be different to most other clothing labels you see. Make sure to check it out in the future ;)

So what’s the next step for you, any other tournaments you plan to enter?
I will keep on playing cash games and also mix it up with some more live tournaments. I would like to play an EPT, IPT and some other tournaments. During September here in Malta, at the Portomaso Casino there will be GSOP, WPT and another tournament all close to each other so I will probably be playing in some of them. My goal is to make consistent money every month to keep investing in my own company.

Finally, we know loads of girls will be interested to find out if you are single. Does Aladin have a princess?
Haha. I am single yes. And whilst in Malta I am pretty happy being single. I am having the time of my life.